Are You Worried That You Will Become Irrelevant Now That The Kids Are Leaving Home?
Motherhood is the role of a lifetime. For those privileged enough to call themselves a mother in any capacity, you know what I’m talking about. There’s only one small catch…
“A mother’s job is to teach her children not to need her anymore. The hardest part of that job is accepting success.”
Alas, the one constant in life is that change is inevitable and motherhood is no exception. What do you do with all of that nurturing and life-giving energy that not so long ago soothed feverish little foreheads and cuddled for hours until sleep came, once the kids are grown and flown?
This is a really important question considering that energy is never created or destroyed- physics tells us that energy can either be transformed or be redirected. That mothering energy that is still such a deep rooted part of many of us, it will continue to exist within and with that we have a choice to make.
1. We can consciously and intentionally redirect it or…
2. We can remain unconscious to its presence and innately it will redirect itself.
Without purposeful intention in directing life energy, you run the risk of that energy creating problems that will need addressing later and also missing out on the beautiful result to be gained if instead you learned to focus that energy into recreating yourself in this beautiful and mysterious stage of life.
I hope you choose Option 1. And if you do, I want to encourage you to do a couple of things that I predict will be an absolute game changer for you. The first thing is to self examine how much of a natural caregiver you are by rating yourself on the following questions on a Scale of 1-5 with 1 being NEVER and 5 being ALWAYS.
Are you highly and uniquely aware of other’s feelings and emotions?
Do you struggle to be in touch with your own feelings and needs sometimes because of your focus on others?
Do you feel a sense of true purpose by tending to the needs of others either one on one or within a group of people?
Do you pride yourself on your flexibility and willingness to help however needed?
Are you a natural cheerleader and encourager of others in your care?
Tally your score- if you scored higher than a 15 you are mostly likely a natural caretaker. I believe this self awareness and acceptance of your strengths are important in determining what comes next for you.
The second thing is to consider the healthiest expression of that motherly energy for YOU. There are likely people in your school, neighborhood or community that could use your help. I can think of one woman whose kids are grown who volunteers her time by rocking babies born addicted in the NICU. Another woman has found her purpose in volunteering in hospice care. These are 2 powerful examples but think both big and small. Do you have a Mom of small kids who is feeling overwhelmed who could use your help? These are all examples of what I mean by consciously choosing the healthiest way to express that motherly energy.
You were built as a caregiver for a reason. Despite the fact that your kids are on their own and hopefully thriving because you did your job well, you still have a long life to live and you get to design it. How else can you give of yourself, who else could benefit from your care and how will you continue to make an impact on the world?