One Great Way to Connect with Your Older Kids
As silly as it may seem, I’ll never forget the preparation of that meal and eating dinner with the kids. The kitchen was a buzz with laughter and conversation as I flitted around prepping the food. At one point as I was seasoning the fish, I looked over to the end of the kitchen island and watched my oldest two boys sitting together at the counter, catching up and chatting away. In that moment, I realized life doesn’t get any better. I thought to myself, “I have all I need right here in this moment in my slightly dated kitchen of over 14 years!” Eventually meal preparation gave way to laughter, reminiscing, and serious talk about college classes and career options as we ate our meal together. It was a far cry from the days of rushing through a meal before anyone could have a meltdown. I just love having adult kids and the grown-up conversations I get to have with them. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting to know them all over again. And much of that happens during mealtimes.
Midlife Looks Different Today Than It Did 40 Years Ago
The health habits we adopt, and the lifestyle we choose have a major impact on the way we age. Everything we do today- the food we eat, how we move our body, how we manage our stress, the thoughts we think- all determine what our health and life will look like 10, 20, and even 40 years down the road.
How To Make Sure You’ll Be a Kick-A** Grandma
My kids are getting older. I’m getting older. And I’m not gonna lie, it’s so easy for me to get stuck in the past, reminiscing about the days when the kids were little and my biggest responsibility was to keep them safe and well-nourished, while making sure they learned to pee on the potty and go to sleep by themselves. But, focusing on the past won’t bring those days back and if I stay there too long, I might just miss all the amazingness that’s happening NOW!
Our kids are becoming independent. It’s as certain as the sun rising in the sky each morning. They’re stepping into a life that often have very little to do with us. Maybe you’re already empty-nesting or maybe your nest is half full. Whatever the case, at this phase in our life, it’s time to let go of the past and start looking to the future, imagining what we want our life to look like, 10, 20, even 30 years from now. Have you taken time to envision and even feel what you want your life to be like in the years ahead? If not, I encourage you to take some time to start today. Grab a pen and a journal or notebook and write down specifically what you want your life to look like in say 5-10 years. Because, unless you get really clear on what you want from your life, and unless you’re super intentional about creating that vision, you might just haphazardly ebb and flow through the rest of your life going wherever the wind may blow you. And sure, that might keep you content, and you will probably have a pretty good life. But what if you miss the chance to be better, what if you settle for good and content and never get to be stellar and delighted with life?
The Importance of Stress Management and Emotional Balance for Midlife Moms and How to Achieve Both
I’m moving about my day and for no real reason at all, I’m a little angry, a little irritated, a bit fatigued, and also slightly frustrated. Things that shouldn’t be annoying me all that much are like nails on a chalkboard- the dog barking, the dinner I have to cook, that last email I know I need to send out, the pile of my kids’ dirty laundry (how many times a day to they change outfits, anyway?!) I should know myself enough by now to take a few minutes alone to just breathe, redirect, and refocus. I should go outside for a brief walk or just simply move my body in some way for a minute or two. But, alas, I don’t do any of the things that a well-balanced, productive, middle-aged mom would do. Instead, I let my emotions bubble up and over me like boiling water bubbling over the edges of its pot onto the stove top and I lose the last shred of self-control that I had. Suddenly, my family has become the proverbial stove top, simply because they are in my immediate vicinity, and I find myself acting more like a hormonal 15-year- old than a well-adjusted woman of 47 years. Have you been there before?
Advice From a Mom Coping With A Freshmen In College And A Senior In High School
It’s the end of September, my oldest has been at school now for a little over a month. He’s settling in to his new environment and at home, we’re all adjusting to a family life that looks a little different. The house is just a bit quieter. Andrew, the middle child has shifted to oldest brother status, and AJ (the youngest) is loving the fact that he has more attention from me and his dad. Believe it or not, that’s not sarcastic, AJ is, in fact, thrilled to have more attention from his parents, because he loves being the center of attention. My husband is continuing on with business as usual, of course. Nothing gets him down, except maybe the occasional worry over how lacrosse is going or if by chance Anthony is racking up thousands of dollars on his credit card. As for me, I’m mostly ok, and I’m definitely not upset about the lighter laundry load and decrease in cooking which also means less dirty dishes. And yet, I still go by his empty room and feel my breath catch in my throat. I still go to bed at night wishing I could have said good night in person, and every time I get a text or a call from him, I stop whatever it is I’m doing, and my soul lights up like candles on a birthday cake. I imagine this is fairly normal for most moms whose child has just recently gone off to college. I mean, come on, our kids are under our roof for at least 18 summers, maybe more in some cases, and then one day summer comes to an end and you’re packing up the car with most of your child’s belongings to move them out of the only home they’ve ever known.
What To Expect When Your Child Goes To College
The years fly by, and suddenly it’s time to take your baby to college. And just as no one can prepare you for the emotional overwhelm and sense of responsibility you feel when your child is born, no one can prepare you for the emotional over whelm and sense of letting go and loss of control you feel in the few weeks leading up to college move in day and the day you say goodbye. I dropped my oldest son off at college just a few days ago, and I’m here to tell you my heart and my mind were stretched in ways I didn’t even imagine were possible. It’s obvious to me now that I went through several phases as I was being stretched over those days, coming to grips with my baby growing up and leaving the nest. Allow me to elaborate.
Travel With Teens and Young Adults To Make Memories That Will Last A Lifetime
It’s said that we should travel not to escape life, but so that life doesn’t escape us. With my kids quickly growing up, and one of them about to leave home, I’m reminded just how fleeting and fast paced life is. I certainly don’t want to escape my life, but now more than ever, I’m determined not to let life escape me. In other words, I don’t want life to pass me by, that’s why I’ve been resolutley focused on travel with my family over the years. Now that our family life is changing and we’re entering a new season, I’m grateful for the multitude of memories we have from traveling together, and I’m driven all the more to contine to make those memories.
How to Live a Meaningful Life Without Relying on Your Kids for Fulfillment
My kids are grown up. My husband and I are older, and so are our friends. Our lives no longer revolve 100% around our kids, because they’re beginning to live a life of their own. Of this fact, I am well aware, but it became even more obvious over the long weekend. Friday was my oldest son, Anthony’s, graduation from high school. Fortunately, Lynne and her family traveled from the Midwest to celebrate with us. Friday, and Saturday flew by with lunching, nice dinners, shopping, and celebrating Anthony. But by Sunday, the house was quiet. Already that weekend, I had barely seen Anthony, he was hopping from one graduation party to the next. Andrew, my second son found himself at his girlfriend’s house for a cook out, and AJ, the youngest in the family was at a friend’s house for a pool party. After my husband and I attended a graduation party on Sunday afternoon, the house was eerily quiet. And when I woke up Monday morning, I was left wondering what to do.
Navigating Love, Loss, and Graduation
It’s said that we never truly get over grief. We just learn how to go through it. Next month it will be 6 years since we lost my mother-in-law, and I know this to be true. No matter how much time goes by, you never really get over the loss of someone you love. Grief, being the unrelenting little fellow that it is, enjoys rearing its ugly head at the most inopportune times. Very often it sneaks up on you like a thief in the night, out of the blue, when you least expect it. For example, I’ve been completely consumed with my oldest son’s high school graduation at the end of this week. If you’ve already been there, then you know that you don’t have much band width to consider any thoughts or feelings other than those related to your baby closing a big chapter of their life. Like any other mom, I’ve had so many emotions. I’ve been happy, excited, tired, anxious, sad, and nostalgic. I’ve been so busy that I’ve barely had time to breathe let alone process all of it. Lately, I’ve been running on auto pilot. And then a bump in the road…that old familiar grief comes to call.
What you Need to Know about the Keto Diet as a Woman in Midlife
Today it’s often used as a one size fits all approach to rapid weight loss. If you’re reading this and you’re a women in midlife whose pre, post or peri-menopausal and you’re looking to lose weight, there are some important things you should know about Keto diets and the science of metabolism. Understanding these things that I’m about to share with you can literally extend your life! Longevity and healthy metabolism go hand in hand.
The first thing you need to know: What are Ketones and how do they help me lose weight?
Ketone Bodies aka Ketones are made in the liver from the breakdown of fats when glucose (aka sugar) is in short supply.
5 Lessons on Midlife Friendship
If you’re lacking in the friend department, I know just how you feel, as I’ve struggled with female friendships most of my adult life. Some of that may be because I was raised with brothers and we just plain did things differently growing up. There were no clothes sharing, hair pulling, drama building, or grudge holding. Suffice it to say, I’ve never been that great at connecting with women. And while I spent years putting the blame on everyone else, truth be told, it was a Brooke issue. It took me a solid 44 years to figure that out. Frankly speaking, it’s only been in the last 3 years that I’ve really begun to build solid female friendships apart from Lynne, and even our relationship has grown and matured along the way. Over the course of these years, I’ve learned some very important lessons in friendship that I’d love to share with you.
A Cutting Edge Approach to Aging Well
So, that brings us to the cutting edge treatments I’m referring to in the title of this blog. Where is the line when it comes to living naturally but still wanting to take advantage of what science has to offer for living longer, looker more youthful and adding quality to our years? The best strategies are always going to be eating well, moving your body and keeping a positive outlook. However, in my opinion, science has the potential to shine when it comes to taking what’s already being made by the body and enhancing it as natural levels decline with age to promote healthy aging and even better, promote longevity in some cases.
A Mother’s Reflection on Spring Break with her Senior
It was a long sleepy flight home from Cancun with a plane full of exhausted high school seniors who had lived their best celebratory life over the last three days. Our plane touched down around 10 pm and I was tired, but glad to be home safely, as I always am after traveling. We moved swiftly through the airport dragging our luggage awkwardly behind us, and with each stride, I found myself perking up with more energy than was usual after a few days of travel. You could almost say I was buzzing. My mind was still reeling and processing all the events of the last few days and my heart was so full. The buzz was from gratitude for my son and our relationship vibrating through my body and excitement rippling over me for the months that lay ahead.
Believe it or not, my husband and I had just spent three days with my son and his senior class on SPRING BREAK! Say what?! That’s right, I said it. Most of his senior class and more than half of the parents spent almost 4 days together in Mexico enjoying the warm tropical weather and celebrating senior year along with all the prospects that lie ahead for these seniors. Apparently, this is actually a thing.
Do you need a new Purpose in Midlife?
The patient was adamant that her relative had “retired herself to an early death.” Meaning, she had lost her sole purpose in life and without it she was depressed and lost and subsequently her health began to fail rather quickly.
It really hit home to me how important it is to have purpose at this stage of our lives, for our mental and physical health! It’s important at all stages of life but I think at this stage we’re especially vulnerable to losing our way and our purpose because our kids are growing up and becoming more independent. Many women experience a loss of identity and purpose and they don’t always understand what exactly is happening to them, only that they feel left with a void that they’re not sure how to fill.
Forgiveness Is The Key To Unlocking Peace And Emotional Health In Midlife
Toxicity is a buzz word in today’s world, especially when it comes to people. How many times have you heard, “remove toxic people from your life” “end the toxic relationship” “her behavior and words are toxic”… and, so on. Similarly, “setting boundaries” is a popular, maybe even trendy phrase. In fact, I’ve written articles and filmed vlogs about boundaries and the importance of them in regards to our emotional health. I firmly believe there is a time and place for setting boundaries in your life. And it’s sometimes necessary to remove toxic people from your life in order to stay balanced and healthy emotionally. (Self-preservation is actually a thing) Still, I can’t help but wonder if we’ve gone too far in the other direction. Can we be too quick to assign a toxic label before attempting to work out a problem with an individual in our life? Do we remove people from our life under the guise of “boundary” and “safety” simply because it’s easier to do than to deal with the issue or work on our own heart? Are we doing more harm than good by simply turning away? Do we need to start practicing a little more FORGIVENESS and a little less “I’m done with you”? Have we forgotten entirely about redemption? I’ve asked myself these same questions many times. And now, I pose them to you.
How To Get What You Want Out of Midlife
If you’re reading this and thinking to yourself ”All of the talk about goal setting and resolutions this time of year seriously gives me the heebie-jeebies.” Well, this article was purposefully intended to speak directly to YOU.
I've been there. At times, goal-setting to me has felt like an inauthentic, masculine process.
Why can't we just live life already and see where the wind takes us?
In Midlife, Should We Stay In The Present Moment Or Look Toward The Future?
What is it about this phase of life that causes so many of us anxiety and worry? We’re getting older and our kids are growing up, and you’d think as women and mother’s we’d be experienced enough, wise enough, and old enough to finally quit worrying about the future. But, if we’re being honest with ourselves, no matter what age we are and no matter how old our kids get, we’ll always worry, at least a little bit. It seems the worry doesn’t go away. Instead, the things we worry about change as life circumstances change.
3 Ways to Reengage with your Spouse
Relationships are ever-evolving, dynamic and living things, like a delicate flower. There’s no such thing as “arriving” or “attaining” a healthy relationship. Two people need to feed and foster their connection, otherwise the connection breaks down and energetically things start to disconnect and separate.
Midife Women and Alcohol: A Conversation
Of all the things that can mess with our health in midlife, alcohol is at the top of the list. And yet, so many of us need that one, two, or even three glasses of wine at the end of the day to unwind. Before we go further, let me just say, while I’m not a big drinker, I do have a very occasional glass of wine or champagne, particularly if it’s a special occasion or I’m out to lunch with my best gal pals. Pretty much all of my friends like to indulge, and I have no problem with it. The problem is as fun and as relaxing a few drinks with friends might be, it really isn’t good for your health. There’s just no way around it.
Alcohol might make us feel warm and relaxed, giving us a nice rosy glow on our cheeks. But, make no mistake, it’s wreaking havoc on the inside.
The Main Reason You’re Unhappy in Midlife
When our current condition does not match the blueprint or the expectation we have for our life it creates unhappiness and dis-ease. In other words, when your expectation for how something SHOULD be doesn’t match where you currently ARE, you are very likely to be unhappy.