Travel With Teens and Young Adults To Make Memories That Will Last A Lifetime
It’s said that we should travel not to escape life, but so that life doesn’t escape us. With my kids quickly growing up, and one of them about to leave home, I’m reminded just how fleeting and fast paced life is. I certainly don’t want to escape my life, but now more than ever, I’m determined not to let life escape me. In other words, I don’t want life to pass me by, that’s why I’ve been resolutley focused on travel with my family over the years. Now that our family life is changing and we’re entering a new season, I’m grateful for the multitude of memories we have from traveling together, and I’m driven all the more to continue to make those memories.
It's been over 15 years since Lynne and I took our first trip together with our families. It was so long ago, that I recall her telling me about this new exciting thing online that allowed you to share pictures and describe what you were doing or how you were feeling. All of this was in one place, so you could keep in touch and stay close to friends and family even if they lived far away. “It’s called Facebook and it’s amazing”, she said. “Sounds like a flash in the pan”, I said as I rolled my eyes. Yep, I got that one wrong, but, let me get back to the topic at hand, which is not, in fact, social media platforms. At that time my youngest wasn’t born yet. I had a 5 and a 2-year-old son and Lynne’s daughter had just turned 1- (it’s so hard to believe how fast time flies by). Because I was afraid to fly, we settled on a place that my family could drive to and we picked Lynne and her family up at the airport. The house we rented was in the smokey mountains and we spent a long weekend in Gatlinburg, TE. We actually still have old time black and white photos of the kids that we had taken while we were there. They’re hilarious and most definitely something we’ll embarrass them with on their wedding day! Little did we know that all those years ago we’d be setting the stage for a tradition that we still carry on to this day- traveling together with our kids.
Traveling with our families is one of the things that I’m most grateful for in my life. Although, I will say that it wasn’t all that easy when the kids were little, and often, I’d come home needing a vacation from my vacation! We’ve traveled together to Florida, New Hampshire, Myrtle Beach, and Maryland just to name a few. In more recent years, as I forced myself to deal with the fear of flying, we began taking bigger trips, the first to Italy, and a few years after that, Iceland. These more recent trips have been nothing short of spectacular.
Experiencing new cultures, new food and new landscapes with your teens and young adults is incredible. Doing all of it with friends that are like family is life changing. Honestly, from our years of travel together, our kids have gotten closer and our relationships have grown even deeper. There’s just something so special and affirming about sharing big moments and adventures with people you love. As expected, the food in Italy was top notch, and swimming in the Mediterranean was off the charts. Then there was the trip to Iceland, that exceeded all of our expectations. Our kids started the trip complaining about going and came home declaring it was the best place they had ever been. The Blue Lagoon, The Black Sand Beaches, the fresh air, the views, the hiking, and the people made it extra special. Iceland did not disappoint.
While we were in Iceland, we collectively made a big decision. One that I believe none of us will ever regret. We decided to allow each kid to pick where our families would go the summer after they graduate from high school. My son, Anthony was the first to graduate and he chose Portugal. I admit, I was a little surprised by his choice, given he could go anywhere in the world. But, after being there for 10 days this summer, I concede that Portugal has been the best trip yet. From the beaches to the castles to the city, Portugal was stunning. It was safe, clean, and the temperature was perfect- no humidity, 80 degrees during the day and 65 at night. (What a joy to be on the beach without worrying about how big my frizzy, oddly curly hair was getting, LOL!) As always, Lynne, who is the resident vacation planner, didn’t miss a detail in putting the trip together, from tours, meal reservations, to hotel accommodations, and even a beautifully curated “Anthony’s Senior Trip To Portugal” Itinerary printed on stock paper for each of us along with an index card of frequently used words translated from English to Portuguese, and Hobart (the college Anthony is attending in the fall) ballcaps purchased for everyone.
We arrived in Portugal at 11 am after a six hour overnight flight from Boston. Our trip kicked off with 3 days in Lisbon, before we headed south to The Algarve (coastal, beach region), where we stayed in Lagos. Our vacation then culminated with 2 more days in Lisbon. In the city we ate, shopped, and toured the sights via the hop on hop off bus. At the beach, we ate ALOT more, sailed for a day, kayaked, and walked the beautiful landscape. The kids were thrilled because it’s legal for anyone 16 and older to have a drink with their parents in a restaurant. (They thought they were so cool!) We enjoyed pasteis (Portuguese pastry), local fresh seafood, and of course, port after dinner. I cannot say enough about the cleanliness and safety of Lisbon and Lagos. We felt very comfortable meandering through city streets, taking ubers, and allowing the kids free time of their own. All nine of us had a fabulous time together, trying new foods, experiencing a new culture, and learning about the history of another country.
Family trips together have been such an exceptional way for us to bond and learn about the world while learning more about each other. Of course, don’t forget about the memory making too. When considering a family trip with older kids, here are a few things to keep in mind:
It helps to travel with another family that has kids of similar age, just be sure that all of the kids get along. Perhaps test the travel together with a short weekend trip before you set your sites on a more extensive, involved one.
When traveling together, we prefer to fly together. Having a meal in the airport together before takeoff, taking a red eye together and watching movies, then having breakfast on the plane in the morning followed by customs and arrival together is part of the fun. Because Lynne and her family don’t live near us, and we have direct flights to most places, they fly to us to spend a few days at our home before we all fly to our final destination.
Let the kids be involved in choosing the destination. If they have a hand in the decision making, they’ll be more excited and present while there. They’ll also appreciate the trip more, and it will likely be more meaningful to them.
Choose vacations that offer a variety of things to do, like tours, good food, beaches, boating, hiking, swimming, atv riding, and shopping. In my experience, teens and young adults love to shop and it’s a great way to bond with them, just be sure to go to stores they can relate to!
Spend about 9 months planning the trip and have periodic group calls so everyone can voice their opinion and come to agreement on what types of tours and excursions to do.
If you’re with a larger group and you can afford it, book private tours. Private tours have been some of our most memorable experiences because we were able to learn a lot and take in the culture all together without any distractions from other people. We could choose the schedule and timing, and we were typically in a large van with snacks, drinks, and laughter. As an added bonus, we were often able to skip the long lines at popular sites!
Plan to fly into a city, have a few days there, then move on to a more relaxing setting like a coastal area or lake. End the trip with a few days back in a city you’ll fly home from. This give the perfect mix of sight seeing and being on the go with relaxing days of rest and down time.
Don’t try to pack too much into one trip. This may seem counterintuitive, because there is a school of thought that “you never know if you’ll get to come back so don’t waste it, see as much as you can”. But listen up, trust me when I say if you over extend a teen with too many tours, too much sight-seeing, and not enough down time, they will be miserable. And, nobody wants to vacation with a moody, miserable teen. Besides, some of our best moments on vacation happened in the pool at the hotel, later in the afternoon after half a day of sight-seeing while relaxing and regrouping before dinner.
Don’t wait. Do it now. The older the kids get, the more distractions and conflicts there will be. It’s not long after college that summer internships or summers abroad begin, so plan the travel as soon as you are able.
Be sure to have the next destination chosen before your current trip comes to a close. This way, you won’t let anything get in the way and you’ll already have taken steps for the next vacation so it doesn’t get missed. Don’t get yourself in an “I meant to, but time just got away from me” kind of situation.
Speaking of next trips, Andrew, my middle son is a rising senior. Yep, that’s right, I have back-to-back kids leaving for college. (I’m convinced the only thing worse is twins leaving at the same time!) Anyway, Andrew had been thinking about his senior trip, which we’ll take next summer, and at the end of our time in Portugal, he decided on Greece! I tried to subliminally message him into an African Safari, but that didn’t go so well, so Greece it is. Which by the way, I am more than absolutely fine with- who wouldn’t be?! He wants to see Athens and the islands/beaches, so we’re already starting to plan. Looks like we’ll fly into Athens, have a couple days there, island hop, and then head back to Athens again on the way home. The first and current question before we go any further in planning is whether we’re going to see the islands by land or by boat. We’re all hoping for a private boat, but that will depend on the cost! Next year is sure to be another fantastic “Mouwell Family Summer Vacation”, as we now dub them, and all of us are looking forward to it, even as we’re still reeling and regrouping from Portugal.
If I’m being honest, Portugal is going to be difficult to top, it was just so wonderful- every single part of it, including celebrating Anthony’s 20th birthday in an outdoor roof top restaurant that overlooked the city on our last night, and playing spy games as a group during our meals together. Then again, I typically think every trip I go on is the best trip ever and can never be topped, until that is, I go on the next one! I’ll leave you with one last piece of advice on family travel that Lynne started, and we all love. It’s called Pit and Peak. Essentially, at the end of every trip, we each take a moment to share first our Pit, or lowest point, and then our Peak, or highest point. It’s a special way to reflect on the trip, bond, and share a few laughs. Just make sure you end on the Peaks, so that the conversation ends on a high note. In most cases, each person’s pit and peak will be slightly different. However, on the Portugal trip, as we sat together at our gate in the airport waiting to board the plane home, many of us agreed on the same things. Our pit was the train workers being on strike leading us to jam into 3 separate uber cars for an uncomfortable four hour car ride back to Lisbon from Lagos. Our peak was the day we spent on the private boat sailing along the coast of the Algarve with a stop in a lovely little coastal town for a fabulous lunch of fresh fish, other local cuisine, and Portuguese wine.
That particular peak, the day we spent off the coast of The Algarve in Portugal, sailing the Atlantic together, salty sea air in our hair, music setting the vibe, caves and coastal towns in the back drop, surrounded by beautiful, sparkling, deep blue sea water, was easily one of the top 3 days of my life. It was one of those moments I wish I could freeze in time. You couldn’t ask for a better setting, and as I sat there next to Lynne, slowly scanning the boat to observe our husbands laughing over a cold beer, and our kids sunning themselves together on the front deck of the boat as they sang and hummed to the music playing, I thought about how truly blessed I was to have these fleeting moments and memories with my ever growing and changing kids and with friends who are just like family. As my heart burst with joy, I glanced over at Lynne, who looked at me and said, “this is as good as it gets”, and I agreed, because in that moment all was right with the world and we were unabashedly carefree, frozen in time, and completely present with ourselves, each other, and our families.