Episode 41: The Joy Delayed Video
Many of us don't feel worthy of feeling joy in midlife. It's our midlife mindset: how we view ourselves, what we think we're deserving of, how we speak to ourselves, and how we give love to ourselves. Leaning into more joy in midlife helps improve life after 40. It isn't a midlife crisis. It's fully enjoying midlife. Get perspective on midlife. Learn to make your 40's and 50's fabulous.
The time is NOW! So, we want to ask you a few questions:
What are you waiting for?
Why are you putting that off?
Why are you saving it for a rainy day?
Very often, we hold back or hold off on something because we're waiting until we reach a goal, or hit a certain milestone. Don't get us wrong, we love to set goals. We're all for a carrot on a stick to keep us moving forward. But, in this phase of life, we also need to lean into JOY. It's time to find the things that bring us joy and use or do them. For some reason, we can have a hard time delighting in life, savoring what we have, and enjoying what comes to us. And yet, we're not getting any younger. It's time to go for it. It's time to do the thing. We're talking all about this very topic in episode 41 of Life after Kids with Drs. Brooke and Lynne, The Joy Delayed Video.
Obviously, there's something to be said for not squandering your money, for saving, and for financial stability. But also, we want you to know that life's simple pleasures are meant to be enjoyed, especially in midlife. So, if you can count on one hand the amount of times you've used your china (not including holidays), then it may be time to bust it out for a Tuesday dinner, just because. These small things make life a little bit more spontaneous and surprising. And don't we all crave more of these feelings at our age? There are other reasons we tend to delay joy besides wanting to save or needing to reach a goal first. We've listed a few below.
We don’t feel like we deserve it
We're too busy creating joy for everybody else (especially our kids)
We're afraid it will lose it's appeal if we use it
We're concerned we won't have anything else to look forward to
Sadly, many of us don't feel like we're worthy of feeling joy, even after all these years. We may not be speaking it or thinking it, but it's there somewhere on a subconscious level. It goes back to our mindset: how we view ourselves, what we think we're deserving of, how we speak to ourselves, and how we give love to ourselves. Leaning into more joy in your life is a big piece of loving yourself better. So, go to the concert, take out the china, put on the dress, open the bottle of wine you've been saving, and wear the shoes. Also, click the picture above to watch this week's episode of Life after Kids with Drs. Brooke and Lynne. And let this be a starting point for getting perspective and asking yourself what you can do to make midlife the most joyful phase yet.
Joy doesn't simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every single day.
-Henri Nouwen