Episode 65: The Fear Video
Fear and howe to overcome it is the topic of conversation in this week’s episode of Life after Kids with Drs. Brooke and Lynne. We often experience fear when we’re growing and pushing out of our comfort zone. We need to manage this fear and push through it so we can live a fulfilling and fabulous life after 40.
All Fear Is Not Created Equal...
We've all been there, right? The sweaty palms. The queasy stomach. The dry mouth. The racing heart.
Anytime we feel frightened, there's a good chance these physical signs will accompany our emotional state. Usually, our first instinct is to "run away" or stop whatever it is we're doing that's causing the fear. But not all fear is the same. Yes, there are times when fear is warranted and there to protect us. In those times, we need to listen to it. But, more often than not, fear occurs because we're pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zone. Growth and expansion can be frightening. During these times, we need to recognize the fear and why it's occurring. We must lean in and push through it, so we can reach our goals and achieve our dreams. We're discussing all of this and more in this week's episode of Life after Kids with Drs. Brooke and Lynne, The Fear Video.
If you're considering what your next steps are. If you're thinking about what you want in your Life after Kids, if you're expanding your thinking or dreaming a little bigger, FEAR is likely to rear it's ugly head. Be prepared. This conversation is for you. Definitely watch today's episode. You might also want to pick up the book, "Playing Big" by Tara Moore. It was a game changer for Dr. Lynne. We've also included highlights, as always, below.
Non-productive fear is over reactive. It's the "worrying" type of fear. It's the fear we feel when our kids are late coming home. This fear occupies our mind with anxiousness. It can keep us from getting to where we're going. It can be paralyzing.
Another type of fear occurs when we're about to occupy a space that's bigger than we're used to. Think of how you feel when you take the firsts steps toward something you want to do in this next phase of life, but you're actually terrified to think it or speak it because it feels so big.
We also experience fear when something unsafe is happening, or we're in a dangerous situation. This is protective fear, and it should be listened to.
When you're feeling fearful, take a step back for a moment to identify which type of fear you're dealing with. Ask yourself if you're really in danger or being taxed too much. Ask yourself if your situation is creating exhaustion or too much imbalance. Determine if what you're afraid of is actually real or likely to happen. If you realize that you're in a period of growth that's causing your fear, do not let it stop you. Instead, push through the fear and keep going.
Be aware of and prepared for voices that say things like, "who do you think you are?", "why did you ever think you could take this on?", or "you're not experienced enough." This is fear personified. Ignore that voice, lean in, and go for it.
Remember that the fear response is the same physiologically in our body as the excitement response. So breathe through it and move your body to channel energy that may be bottled up
Journaling, self affirmations, prayer, and reaching out to a friend can help manage fear as well.
Keep in mind that the most successful people you see, even those doing what you hope to do, feel fear. It's normal. But, they don't let fear stop them. They push through it, and so should you.
The best advice we can give you for leading a truly fulfilling Life after Kids is this...Keep going. Do it anyway. Do it scared. In the meantime, click the picture above to watch this week's episode of Life after Kids, The Fear Video. Then, take some of the tools we've shared and start using them to manage fearful feelings. Also, give yourself some credit. With all the wisdom, knowledge, and experience you've gained over the years, you know the difference between real fear, and feeling terrified because you're putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. That's the fear we all need to conquer in order to be the best versions of ourselves. Without a doubt, we're all stronger than we think and capable of far more than we know. Don't ever forget it!
Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will.
-W. Clement Stone