A Mother’s Reflection on Spring Break with her Senior
It was a long sleepy flight home from Cancun with a plane full of exhausted high school seniors who had lived their best celebratory life over the last three days. Our plane touched down around 10 pm and I was tired, but glad to be home safely, as I always am after traveling. We moved swiftly through the airport dragging our luggage awkwardly behind us, and with each stride, I found myself perking up with more energy than was usual after a few days of travel. You could almost say I was buzzing. My mind was still reeling and processing all the events of the last few days and my heart was so full. The buzz was from gratitude for my son and our relationship vibrating through my body and excitement rippling over me for the months that lay ahead.
Believe it or not, my husband and I had just spent three days with my son and his senior class on SPRING BREAK! Say what?! That’s right, I said it. Most of his senior class and more than half of the parents spent almost 4 days together in Mexico enjoying the warm tropical weather and celebrating senior year along with all the prospects that lie ahead for these seniors. Apparently, this is actually a thing.
When we booked the trip last fall, I admit, I was a little apprehensive. I mean, I’ve said to my husband countless times over the years, “I wonder what the kids are doing”. But now, I was questioning whether or not I really wanted to know “what the kids were doing”. Well, my sense of adventure and desire to live each moment to the fullest got the best of me, so here we were just about 5 months later in Mexico for Spring Break. And what a trip it was.
First things first, the place was a dump and the food was crap. In hind sight, what else would you expect from a resort that houses a bunch of seniors for spring break. All the parents, including myself, reminded each other often, “it’s only a few days, and we’re here for the kids”. Accommodations and food aside, the weather was spectacular and there’s nothing like a few days pool side and on the beach to feed your soul.
But, on this particular vacation, my soul was fed by far more than the warm weather, pool, and beach. In fact, I was surprised to find just how full my heart was when we left Mexico. On reflection, there was one big, dare I say monumental, thing that led to said feeding of the soul (more on that later), but along the way there were multiple little things too. And, big or small, they all matter. They all add up. Will you take a few moments to reflect with me on the most notable moments from spring break with my senior?
As mentioned earlier, I initially had my concerns about partaking in senior trip during spring break and what that would entail, or moreover, what that would condone. Honestly, though, my concerns were laid to rest by the close of the trip. What actually transpired was an environment that was safe and supervised for the kids to celebrate their senior year and how far they’ve come. It was also very good practice for what may or may not lie ahead in college. From my perspective, I’d rather them have a little fun under adult supervision than have them kept on a leash so tight it leads to irresponsibility and excess in college. It seems the other parents on the trip felt the same way.
Most of my son’s senior class was on the trip. Granted, it’s a small class at a small school, but still, I got a bird’s eye view of interaction and socializing amongst the kids. Let me tell you, there were high school students of all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds, and they all got along. I witnessed a group of kids who’s so called labels were stripped away, thoroughly enjoying each other’s company. They laughed. They danced. They joked. They sang and talked. They celebrated life. They were all accepting and inclusive. They were one big group. I have a lot of hope for this generation of kids and the good they’ll do for the world and for each other.
My heart was bursting at the seams, watching these kids. Young adults on the cusp of independence, getting ready to make their own way in the world. In those moments in Mexico, there was not a care in the world among them. It was as if time stopped for a while and we were in a vacuum of positivity and joy. The energy was palpable. It was a distinct reminder of how precious and beautiful life is. I vividly recalled what it was like to be light-hearted and youthful, as if I were being transported in time. I felt it to my core. What a gift to live vicariously through these kids and experience being 17 and 18 again. I smile just thinking about it.
I actually do a lot of smiling these days, but I also have moments of pain, sadness, and a bit of grief for lost youth, his and mine. Yet, being with my son, seeing his excitement and zest for life was exhilarating. It eased the pain in my heart caused by a chapter of our life together closing and made me hopeful for the next story line. I’m eagerly anticipating all he's about to do and experience in his life. Moreover, I have a greater sense of my own purpose, knowing that, like my son, the season ahead for me is also an opportunity for new experiences, goals, and dreams. Plus, after watching him handle himself and his friend those few days spent south of the border, I know he’ll be ok.
Which brings me to his friends. There were so many special moments getting to know his friends with talk of where they were headed for college and what they were hoping for next. It seemed to me that each kid has carried a little piece of my son these last few years in high school and getting to know them better brought my son and his life into focus even more clearly. Beyond friends, the parents were amazing. Sharing stories, concerns, sadness, and happiness mended my heavy mother’s heart in so many ways. There’s just something so healing about knowing you’re not alone. It’s such a comfort to realize that other people are navigating a similar path, feeling similar feelings. Walking through life after kids with other parents who are doing the same, makes this phase of life so much more manageable and less daunting.
My heart is grateful for all of these things and more, but the absolute most special thing that happened to me on the spring break trip (the big thing) happened the last day we were there, late in the afternoon, pool side. We had left the kids to their own devices earlier in the day- dancing around and in the pool to music being played by the DJ, and competing in silly resort led games. All the while, the parents found refuge and a little relaxation at the quieter adults only pool. Around 3:00, we circled back to check in on the kids. They naturally were having a blast. So, the parents gathered poolside to watch the party commence. I was chatting with a few mothers. We were sitting at the edge of the pool, softly swaying and lightly bouncing to the music vibrating around us. When out of nowhere, I feel a tap on my shoulder. Before I could turn around, I hear a voice that I know all too well saying, “mom, come on let’s dance”. For a split second, my own deterring voice went through my head…”you’re in your bathing suit, don’t get up”, “you’ll look ridiculous”, “what will the other parents think”, “you’re too old to be dancing at spring break”. I quickly told that voice to get lost, because when your senior in high school, (baby boy, apple of your eye), asks you to dance with him, you do it, and you don’t give two sh&$# about anything or anyone else.
That dance led to more dancing in the pool with all the kids and just about all the parents together. We danced and sang to YMCA and Sweet Caroline. We even jumped up and down to Miley Cyrus. I looked around overwhelmed by the sheer joy and happiness in my heart and thought “this is it”. This is as good as it will ever be. This is what life is all about. These are the moments that will be etched into my memory for as long as I Iive. These are the occasions that make the hard times more bearable. Because, as hard as dropping my boy off at college will be, is as joyful as these moments with him are. It’s the push and pull of life, the yin and yang. You can’t have one without the other. And it’s the extreme love we have for our kids that make those hard moments so hard, but those good moments so dang good.
So, there you have it. Apparently, you can learn most of what you need to know about your senior leaving home by spending a few days on Spring Break with them. Who knew? And listen, take heart momma, because you don’t have to go on spring break to a tropical location to experience these lessons and moments. We have a few more months of school and an entire summer of opportunities to spend time with our kids, finding moments of celebration, connection, and joy. Remember to be open-minded, open-hearted, adventurous, and involved. And above all else, I’ll leave you with the words of Lee Ann Womack, I HOPE YOU DANCE.
XO,
Dr. Brooke