How To Get What You Want Out of Midlife

It’s the end of January and let’s get real here. Did you set resolutions and goals for yourself to start off the year? If so, are you sticking with it? If you are, way to go! It takes 30 days to build a new habit. Have you slipped a bit here and there? Get back on the saddle and congratulate yourself for being brave enough to put some intention into change. However, in either case, unfortunately, this article isn’t for you.

If you’re reading this and thinking to yourself ”All of the talk about goal setting and resolutions this time of year seriously gives me the heebie-jeebies.” Well, this article was purposefully intended to speak directly to YOU.

I've been there.  At times, goal-setting to me has felt like an inauthentic, masculine process. 

Why can't we just live life already and see where the wind takes us?

I've had years where I've gone through extensive and pain-staking planning and strategic goal-setting and I've had years when I've completely rejected the formality of all of that and opted instead for a more casual inventory of simply putting in writing what feelings I want to feel more of in my every day.

No matter which way I chose, at the end of each year, I'm ALWAYS amazed at how much was created that was in line with what I wrote down at the start of the year.  Science backs this up, when we write something down, our brains are more compelled to make it happen.  

No one way is better and what's going to work for you also depends on the season of life you're in.

But, whatever you do, do something.  Here's why:

So many of us are coming off of days spent with our kids back at home.  For empty-nesters, the holidays are often a time when the house feels the life of the whole family again and memories are rich of the days in the past when the kids took up so much of our time, focus and energy.

The first months of the year can be a sad time once the home is quiet again.  It might be a time when we spend more time than we should dwelling on what we've lost.

OR…

It could be the month of the year designated to spend all of that time, energy and focus on you!  Your dreams, your goals, your feelings you are trying to create more of.

When we think of it that way the start of a new year can be a true blessing.

If you're in a season where setting goals and resolutions doesn't quite fit, if you're feeling extra sad because your kids are gone and wondering where you belong, or even if you already have a long list of goals you're working on, here is an easy exercise to give some energy and focus into getting more of what you want out of life this year.  Dr. Brooke and I say it all of the time, "the simplest things are often the most powerful."

EXERCISE: Set your DAILY CODE OF CONDUCT.

Your Daily Code of Conduct is nothing more than the pre-determined expectation for how you will take a bite out of life each and every day.  Life is sweet and time is NON-REFUNDABLE.  When you set out with a CODE OF CONDUCT, you will take better control of your day and notice more of the feelings that you're trying to create- for example...more calm, more joy, more resilience.  Here is my personal 2022 DAILY CODE OF CONDUCT.  

-Be Playful

-Be Calm

-Be Centered

-Be Resilient

-Be Sexy

Nothing too formal or rigid. But when I write it in my planner and read it most mornings it reminds me that no plan is a plan to fail. I can keep it easy and light but still have an intention that directs my mood and actions instead of the day’s circumstances taking over.

So, even if you are tired of setting goals or hate the thought of New Year’s Resolutions, this is another way to go about getting the life you desire.  Have fun with it and let us know what your Code of Conduct is!  We'd love to hear from you via email or DM.

xo,

Dr. Lynne